Deb Sofield

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Are You Addicted to Doing?

I know you’ve heard the phrase, “just say no.” And while it was used to take aim at the war on drugs, I am here to encourage you to “just say no” and stop willfully taking another drug of choice that many people take and tend to overdose on, especially at the holidays–the drug of doing. I’ve never understood why so many good people are addicted to the need for doing, especially when they don’t enjoy it and can’t afford it. What I see is that they feel pressured by others because they feel have no way out. We are […]

Harness Your Power

Recently, I was reading a review about Laird Hamilton’s life that will be seen in an upcoming documentary called “Take Every Wave.” Laird is a legendary big wave surfing star who, according to the write-up, is as polarizing as he is acclaimed. I know a bit of who he is from magazine articles and his one-time marriage to volleyball star Gabrielle Reece, so in reading the write-up I was curious about how he pushed himself to set aside his fear of the water and waves and sharks and whatever else lurks in the ocean to become the master of the elements. […]

Who Is Modeling You?

I would be interested to know who you model your life after, if anyone? Most of us grew up, I am assume, with a role model that we eyed sometimes with awe and wonder and sometimes with suspicion and regret; either way, we watched someone live their life and we either said, “I’m going to be like them,” or “I’m never going to be like them,” making the choice to model ourselves in a similar fashion but separate enough to maintain our sense of dignity, pride and individuality. I have always loved the artwork of Norman Rockwell. He seemed to […]

It’s not what happens to you

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus There is no easy way to say it and no need to sugar coat the truth that for many could be life-changing, so I’ll hit you straight up and remind you that “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” You know this to be true, and yet it is so hard to let offenses, real and imagined, go without a fight or at least a great put-you-in-your-place-amazingly-smart-aleck comment. Recently, I was speaking at a leadership luncheon, and I […]

Is your life a grand adventure?

I’m reading a great book about a lady’s travels throughout the world, and each page takes me to another outdoor café or museum or cathedral. I have walked alongside this lady as she tries new foods, buys tiles and trinkets and smells the scent of the city where she and her husband are exploring. I can get lost in a book pretty easily, and I have found that I tend to like books that have an element of education for me and not just a sappy story. I admit I spend a lot of time reading, and it’s a habit […]

Generosity of Spirit

Like many of you, I like to think of myself as a generous person, or at least that is the ideal I have in my mind about who I am and those I associate with. I have come to believe that we all hope and trust that we have a place inside us that realizes that it is good to be thoughtful, kind and generous to others, and it’s at that foundation of our deep moral makeup that reflects who we are at our soul level. Now I know that some people do not feel this way. While I don’t […]

What would you do if you knew you would die today

Not the headline you’re use to seeing, but recently I was catching up on my reading and came across my AARP magazine (you know, the magazine that reminds us all that we’re over 50 and are on the slippery downhill slope) and the words of the question about having just a few more hours to live jumped off the page at me, and I thought to myself, well, what would I do in the 9 hours I have left? Honestly, I was torn between organizing who would get what and feeling sorry for myself for not having eaten my way […]

Don’t Complain About Things You Are Not Willing to Change

I have just about reached my limit with people who complain about things they are not willing to change. You hear it all the time from some in your group. They are the ones who whisper loudly that someone else didn’t do their job or someone else didn’t tell them some tiny bit of useless information or someone else said something to someone. And you know the rest of the excuses of the one person who blames their lack of accomplishments on everyone else but themselves. Today, I have a lot to say to those people. What are we supposed […]

Deep roots are not reached by the frost

J.R.R. Tolkien, in his book “The Fellowship of the Ring” writes, All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. We are all familiar with the opening lines of this poem: All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost…and while I like those lines, I am […]