Deb Sofield

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Social Grace

Be a lamp – or a lifeboat – or a ladder

Be a lamp – a lifeboat – or a ladder I came across this saying a while back and it made me stop and think about who in our lives have been there as a lamp, a lifeboat, or a ladder. I’m sure for most of us it would be easy to choose someone who is a lamp in our life – someone who believed we’d come into our own one-day and be the person we were born to be. That one person, who against all odds of human reasoning liked us, loved us and believed in us and today […]

Fearless or Fearful

You’ll notice that over time they become fearful of speaking up–in case they are wrong–or they become fearful of putting in extra hours in case no one notices (so why give it more than the basic requirement) or, for many, I see that they are fearful to step out of or away from the comforts of their home, their job or their group of friends. I find it curious that so many once-fearless people now seem to make a place for fear at their table and allow fear to eat every meal with them in their ever shrinking world. It’s […]

Who Is Modeling You?

I would be interested to know who you model your life after, if anyone? Most of us grew up, I am assume, with a role model that we eyed sometimes with awe and wonder and sometimes with suspicion and regret; either way, we watched someone live their life and we either said, “I’m going to be like them,” or “I’m never going to be like them,” making the choice to model ourselves in a similar fashion but separate enough to maintain our sense of dignity, pride and individuality. I have always loved the artwork of Norman Rockwell. He seemed to […]

It’s not what happens to you

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus There is no easy way to say it and no need to sugar coat the truth that for many could be life-changing, so I’ll hit you straight up and remind you that “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” You know this to be true, and yet it is so hard to let offenses, real and imagined, go without a fight or at least a great put-you-in-your-place-amazingly-smart-aleck comment. Recently, I was speaking at a leadership luncheon, and I […]

My Goal in Life Is to be Filthy Rich

My goal in life is to be filthy rich. Now, before you wonder what happened to me, hear me out because I am truthful when I tell you that I really do want to be rich. I want to be rich in knowledge, adventure, laughter, health, family and rich in love. How about you? No doubt you’d like to join me in being rich in all those areas of life, wouldn’t you? Well then, let’s figure out how to do it and be outrageously successful. I don’t think it is all that hard these days to be rich in knowledge–it […]

Don’t Complain About Things You Are Not Willing to Change

I have just about reached my limit with people who complain about things they are not willing to change. You hear it all the time from some in your group. They are the ones who whisper loudly that someone else didn’t do their job or someone else didn’t tell them some tiny bit of useless information or someone else said something to someone. And you know the rest of the excuses of the one person who blames their lack of accomplishments on everyone else but themselves. Today, I have a lot to say to those people. What are we supposed […]

Deep roots are not reached by the frost

J.R.R. Tolkien, in his book “The Fellowship of the Ring” writes, All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. We are all familiar with the opening lines of this poem: All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost…and while I like those lines, I am […]

Keep Going

Last week I spoke about the idea of Swinging for the Fences in Life—really stepping up to the plate and taking a powerful swing with all your might and watching that ball sail over the fence so you can round the bases and be proud that you really gave something your all and were successful. I want to add to that thought this week with this directive. Friend, in this life, you need to keep going because there is a great chance that everything you need will come to you at the perfect time…if you continue on. And that is […]

Choose Hope

Like everyone else years ago I was so sad to hear about Robin Williams’ death, and I wanted to bring someone on the show to talk about depression and fear and other maladies that cause people to lose hope. I don’t want to focus on sadness–we have enough of that going on in the world. What I really want to say would be a rant about getting help, seeing your life for what it is and making the hard decision to fight to live another day; but that would add little value to the conversation, so I’ll hold my tongue […]