Deb Sofield

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Personal

The Emotion of Jealousy

I am going to continue with my theme of emotions, which are causing you harm… because I want you to understand that you are more than how you feel, and you can (with help) heal the damaged places in your heart and mind. My first lesson was about anger, last week I talked about shame and this week I want to talk about jealousy. Oh, jealousy, the green-eyed monster that will wreck your perfectly happy home and make you (a normal person) become insane with rage and keep you at night fretting over things you can’t control. Other words for […]

You are the message

You are the message Recently I was having dinner with my friend Reba, and she and were talking about one’s life being the message they send to the world and that got me to thinking about the title of an old political book I read years ago by Roger Ailes called, You Are the Message. For me it was a book for those considering a life in public office, to remind us that every deed, every word; every action is a reflection of who we are and how we would be seen by others. From the Amazon.com website about the […]

The reason most people give up is because

Today I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. I saw a quote recently that said, “The reason most people give up is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come.” And isn’t that true? Most people do give up because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. For many of us, we become discouraged at what seems to be either lack of progress, or how slow the journey has been or how long […]

What’s in The Well, Comes Up in The Bucket

Recently, I was listening to the commencement address by Tyler Perry at Tuskegee University and, in his remarks, he made this statement: “What’s in the well, comes up in the bucket.” (http://buzz.blog.ajc.com/2016/05/09/tyler-perrys-moving-tuskegee-university-commencement-speech/) It is the first time I had heard this phrase and it just stuck with me, because it seems to be the perfect southern phrase of how life really is no matter what it seems like on the outside. I get that everyone wants to appear successful to friends and family (and enemies), and good for those who have made it because, no doubt, it took work to […]

A shoulder to lean on

I am a bystander – a new friend – and an American colleague who has come to work in her country. Just for a moment, in the late afternoon’s dusty air settling on a few minutes’ worth of freshly fallen rain, we are family. It can happen to anyone. The police report said he had come from the eye doctor and had his pupils dilated. Instead of waiting for the appropriate time to allow his eyes to see clearly, he got up from the hospital bench and walked into the street. Not being able to judge distance with his fractured […]

The world needs you to share your gifts

“The world needs you to share your gifts and go for your dreams. There aren’t enough people who have the courage to go for it.” Lewis Howes As your friend, I want to ask you a question, “Do you have courage?” I mean, really, do you have the courage to do the thing you keep talking about, wishing for or hoping one day will come true? I sincerely hope you do, and I celebrate your success if you are living the dream. That being said, I also know, by watching countless people run to the edge of success, look into […]

Dreams are Free

I have a lot of great opportunities but one of the ones I’m privileged to be a part of is TEDx for which I am the speaker coach. TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics – from science to business to global issues – in more than 100 languages. For a number of years, every Sunday, it was my practice to choose and watch […]

Mend the part of the world

“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés I have the great fortune to be a TEDx speaker coach. And with every TEDx presenter, I am blessed to hear about topics I never knew about or even considered–that’s the beauty of TED (Technology, Education & Design) and TEDx. This year, one of the speakers gave a talk about how we all have implicit bias; whether we know it or not or whether we admit it to […]

Walking Away

“When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticisms and misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude.” ~ Dodinsky How many times have you thought about walking away from the drama, the words and the noise but you stayed to play one more round, hoping it would not be as bad as you thought. No doubt, it ended up being pretty awful. And the worst part is you knew it would end up poorly, but you just had to speak your mind one more time, or […]