Deb Sofield

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Life lessons

Living a shadow life

I just finished reading a book called “Turning Pro” by one of my favorite writers, Steven Pressfield. His other book, “The War of Art,” is a classic, and I can tell you it changed my business life when I read it years ago, so when a friend mentioned that he had read another good Pressfield book, I had to pick it up. And there’s an idea in the book that is so simple, yet so true, that I couldn’t get away from it; I have been thinking about it for days, and I wanted to share it with you. It’s […]

You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else

You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else… You often hear the phrase that life is precious and we need to be careful with our words, our actions and our attitude, and I wholeheartedly agree with that statement and believe it to be true. We all need to follow the wisdom of those words, but what I find so disappointing in watching others is the bizarre attitude of some people who think that by tearing everyone else down they are building themselves up. Sorry, Charlie, it doesn’t work that way, because you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. It’s […]

Are You Addicted to Doing?

I know you’ve heard the phrase, “just say no.” And while it was used to take aim at the war on drugs, I am here to encourage you to “just say no” and stop willfully taking another drug of choice that many people take and tend to overdose on, especially at the holidays–the drug of doing. I’ve never understood why so many good people are addicted to the need for doing, especially when they don’t enjoy it and can’t afford it. What I see is that they feel pressured by others because they feel have no way out. We are […]

Be a lamp – or a lifeboat – or a ladder

Be a lamp – a lifeboat – or a ladder I came across this saying a while back and it made me stop and think about who in our lives have been there as a lamp, a lifeboat, or a ladder. I’m sure for most of us it would be easy to choose someone who is a lamp in our life – someone who believed we’d come into our own one-day and be the person we were born to be. That one person, who against all odds of human reasoning liked us, loved us and believed in us and today […]

Harness Your Power

Recently, I was reading a review about Laird Hamilton’s life that will be seen in an upcoming documentary called “Take Every Wave.” Laird is a legendary big wave surfing star who, according to the write-up, is as polarizing as he is acclaimed. I know a bit of who he is from magazine articles and his one-time marriage to volleyball star Gabrielle Reece, so in reading the write-up I was curious about how he pushed himself to set aside his fear of the water and waves and sharks and whatever else lurks in the ocean to become the master of the elements. […]

Fearless or Fearful

You’ll notice that over time they become fearful of speaking up–in case they are wrong–or they become fearful of putting in extra hours in case no one notices (so why give it more than the basic requirement) or, for many, I see that they are fearful to step out of or away from the comforts of their home, their job or their group of friends. I find it curious that so many once-fearless people now seem to make a place for fear at their table and allow fear to eat every meal with them in their ever shrinking world. It’s […]

Who Is Modeling You?

I would be interested to know who you model your life after, if anyone? Most of us grew up, I am assume, with a role model that we eyed sometimes with awe and wonder and sometimes with suspicion and regret; either way, we watched someone live their life and we either said, “I’m going to be like them,” or “I’m never going to be like them,” making the choice to model ourselves in a similar fashion but separate enough to maintain our sense of dignity, pride and individuality. I have always loved the artwork of Norman Rockwell. He seemed to […]

Leaving Greatness in the Graveyard

A while back I saw a motivational video about pushing through the pain to achieve the goal of greatness. It was a video of famous and not-so-famous athletes who worked hard day after day, night after night, to be the best, understanding that success is a mixture of blood, sweat and tears. Today they are recognized sports figures who are greatly rewarded by their abilities. As the video is playing you can hear voices—sort of sounds like preachers in the background giving the message of determination, power, fight and success—and there is one section of the video where the words […]

It’s not what happens to you

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. Epictetus There is no easy way to say it and no need to sugar coat the truth that for many could be life-changing, so I’ll hit you straight up and remind you that “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” You know this to be true, and yet it is so hard to let offenses, real and imagined, go without a fight or at least a great put-you-in-your-place-amazingly-smart-aleck comment. Recently, I was speaking at a leadership luncheon, and I […]