I’m not one to ask for help. I don’t know why; it’s not that I want to do it on my own. To me it just seems that everyone is busy with their own world and I hate to ask in case it might be a bother. When I do ask, the requests I make usually aren’t a bother—I just don’t ask. I had a dear friend say to me one time, “You know Deb, you can ask for help.. It’s not a sign of weakness and, in your case, it might be a sign of strength.” I know I looked at her like she had two heads. A sign of strength to say you need help? I’m a little slow on that concept, you’re going to need to explain.
So she proceeded to tell me that as much as I like to help others, people often feel the same way. When I am seeking to find a sense of community, friendship or joy from my time well spent, I need to understand that others are too. I do enjoy helping others get on their feet, and make a go of it ,and be successful—so it would only make sense that there are others, just like me, who also enjoy the opportunity to help.
Sometimes it pays to ask for help when you’re going through a hard time. And I have found that many times the person I sought out gave solid advice because their heart is in the right place. Even though they may not be the most popular or well-connected, they respond well to a request for help. And that is a gift we can all hope for—someone who is willing to hear you out and either offer advice or, just by being there, offer a sense of comfort.
Shocking but true, I’m not always verbal and witty. Sometimes I say silly things and realize I need a rest. I do, in fact, have a quiet side and I have come to learn that sometimes just being there and being a rock, or shelter, or strong arm is more valuable than any training or coaching or talking I could ever give. Sometimes when asked I just listen. I’ve learned there is no need to talk when others just need to talk it out. There is something about speaking out loud – it seems to put the words and world in order. So how about you? Can you, or will you, slow down enough to ask for help? Can you sit quietly with a friend and just be there…